Independence Is Overrated Anyway

It would also be a unique opportunity to design the busiest flag in world history

Today the USA celebrates the anniversary of independence from Britain. Though I wonder would they have bothered if they’d known that, 235 years later, Britain would be pretty much dependent on them. It’s funny to watch that pair, singing together at the UN, fighting their wars hand-in-hand. You know I think those two should make up. They’re obviously right for each other.

Just one or two tricky details to sort out. The UK couldn’t just become the 51st state. It may be small in area, but at 62 million it would make up one sixth of the combined population. As the House of Representatives allocates seats proportionally it would inevitably form a huge voting bloc there, while at the same time being ludicrously under-represented in the Senate.

It would be far better for the constituent countries of the UK to join individually, with England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland becoming the 51st, 52nd, 53rd and 54th states of the USA respectively. This still leaves England as the largest state by far though – 52 million people as opposed to California’s 37 – so perhaps it could be further divided. North and South England maybe, like the Dakotas and Carolinas. Or separate it into Greater London, and Little England.

But then there’s another issue – the United States is a republic, whereas the United Kingdom is anything but. This is a rather fundamental constitutional difference; it’s not a Union unless the whole thing is governed by a single Head of State. Let’s begin though by ruling out the option of Americans voting to become a monarchy. Not because they wouldn’t consider it, but because I’m worried they might. For the UK to finally be converted into a full democracy, its royal family will need to be deposed. That doesn’t mean they have to be rounded up and executed of course. Though it does seem like the ideal opportunity.


4 thoughts on “Independence Is Overrated Anyway

  1. It’d be a lovely opportunity for Charles to become a member of the GOP. I’d not rule him out actually winning a Senator-ship for the state of Little England.

    That aside, it’d be great for the US to have one or several European states incorporated to them. It’d mean a major swing towards sanity for their political process for the near future, securing enough political support for such no-brainers as ‘caring for the sick’ and ‘making sure that there’s enough income from tax for government to pay their bills’.


  2. So many changes.

    What’s the nickname for these four states? The Wet Belt? May have to work on that.

    What’s the national holiday? I guess the 4th of July could be re-branded as some sort of “Roughhousing Day”.

    Who’s on the currency? The UK has Darwin on some notes. That should be fun, if kept.

    US broadcasters require that the duration of cricket matches be increased to allow for more insertion of commercials.

    Omit all right turns in UK automotive race courses.

    All deep-fried US dishes are to be thoroughly boiled afterwards. Then dipped in batter and fried again.

    Ireland is looking pretty surrounded. Might wind up as a reservation.

    (I was going to say the Republican Party will demand that Winston Churchill be recognised as the US president during WWII instead of FDR, but they already do that.)


  3. Yeah when I think about it, it would be a bit strange for the former fifty states to celebrate independence any more as well. You know what? It would make a lot of sense to have the accession to statehood of the countries of the former UK on the Fourth of July as well. That way it’s a celebration of both independence and reunification, perhaps the world’s only self-cancelling anniversary.


  4. You left something else out and that is the Republic of Ireland with about 4 million people. Although the RoI is independent of the UK to a degree, it is historically, culturally, economically and geographically joined at the hip with Britain, a reality which that small state refuses to acknowledge. The flag of the RoI is a tricolour consisting of green, white and orange : the green representing Roman Catholic Nationalists, the white just being neutral and the orange representing the Protestant Unionists. If ever a flag stereotyped and pigeon holed people then is it.
    An enlarged US with the four nations of the UK would also have to take the RoI on board which would lead to a real political night mare.


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